As my eyes grow narrow, as I bob my head, it’s the music that soothes my soul. When all the books and the friends and the math and everything we’ve been taught to know leave me completely incapable of expressing what it is that I want need and love……I have found much solace in music.
I have seen it as a means to understand, cope, express, and relate many things that got lost between the words that I speak and the thoughts in my head. Even between the thoughts in my head and the emotions; the feelings I experience.
At times music seems to rise out of the depths of me. It comes from somewhere I have never seen or heard of or in any objective sense known to be absolute. But I have no doubt it exists, for I feel its presence. I am its presence. In many ways it is all that is me. It is all that manifests in my words and my actions and so much more that I yearn to be in touch with and share with others. The overwhelming quiet that rings in the silence of the slowest deepest kiss; that screams in the blind frustrated rage of a fist thrown in desperation. Something intrinsic, something universal and divine. Something I know I must find.
And so I look to music. Somehow basic and instinctual, yet capable of so much complexity and seemingly random diversity. A universal bond. Something capable of stirring emotions, sparking desire. So often a way to remember. When there was a pervasive quality to a trip or a night or an era so often it is most comprehensively recalled by the music that decorated its peaks and lows, that permeated even its most quiet moments.
This is her song ‘Nineteen ‘ recorded at my apartment in Jamaica Plains, MA:
Does it strike anyone else as more than a little bit amazing that I can describe something so personally powerful and then point you towards someone else’s music and know that my point will be just as well illustrated?